Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize