Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How's work?
Spinning.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He better not be in your backpack
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
