this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize