Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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