I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
