You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He did a backflip because drugs
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