and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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