I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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