my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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