Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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