I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
