I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
