The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
