i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
