Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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