i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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