Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
