how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Never joke about your clitoris.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
