Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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