i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
