I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
