New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
