she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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