You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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