Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
