You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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