I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
