Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
