Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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