Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
