hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You pole danced in your parka.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize