Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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