Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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