Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
