Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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