At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize