ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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