Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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