I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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