I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
