well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
