i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
