After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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