Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
