And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
