I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
