She's JV to your varsity
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
