Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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