hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
