are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
