So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, beer. Big fan.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
