I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
