he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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