just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
