if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
