"it" just moved
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
