i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
