i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What did we do last night that was yellow?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
