Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
