Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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