Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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