So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize