How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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