Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
As shirtless as possible
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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