Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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