STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
