I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
