you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
