her vagine was all disorganized.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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