so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
