Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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