The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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