Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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