Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
