Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
