Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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