I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
